I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
