I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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