I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
