i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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