I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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