apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
