Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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