can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
