If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
