if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
