I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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