A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
