there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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