You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
