I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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