Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
