Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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