I want to make a zoo with you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
