Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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