Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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