I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
