So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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