New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
only you would photoshop your dick
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
