i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
