I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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