She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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