i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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