Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
