I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
