so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
