I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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