That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
