there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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