He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
