I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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