out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
