Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
