she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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