thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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