Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
