I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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