she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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