Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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