Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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