i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
