I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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