Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
