I'm really into asian looking animals
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
