Swine flu. Run for my life!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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