i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
