did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
