remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
