So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
