Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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