I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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