Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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