why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
