VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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