I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
soo... how was my night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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