...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
