So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Barsexuality is the new black.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
