I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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